An Extended Weekend
by WeepingclovnCosplays
Summary: Harleen Quinzel finds herself having an unexpected guest after the Joker escapes Arkham Asylum.
1. House Guest

Harleen Quinzel was standing outside her apartment door. It was unlocked and creped open. Was someone in there? The Joker had in one of their sessions told her he'd be around when he got out, and he had escaped earlier today, but he couldn't possibly know where she lived, could he? She opened the door slowly her heart beating fast in her chest. "Hello?" she called into the dark hallway. She waited a while for an answer, but as none came, she closed the door behind her and locked it deciding it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She flicked the lights on. Everything looked normal. At first. She then noticed the purple coat hanging neatly on the coat hanger and the black male-shoes under it. "H-Hello?" she called again louder, her voice shaking. Heck, she was shaking. A Dark chuckle came from her living room "Honey, you're home!" the familiar voice called to her. She froze. He was here, in her apartment. His voice and the laughter that followed echoed in her mind. His laughter had never seemed scary to her before, but then again, she'd always been safe with guards just outside their room. Should she run? Could she even?  
She stood in the hallway for what seemed like forever. Her back against the wall. She heard movement from the living room. footsteps. She looked to the doorway leading into her living room and there he was, smiling at her as she stood against her hallway wall. He was wearing his purple suit complete with flower and all. She'd never really seen him in anything other than his inmate uniform... well apart from on TV. He looked good. His green hair sleekly brushed out of his eyes, his red lips parted in a big grin. They seemed more red that usual. Was he wearing lipstick? It wouldn't really surprise her if he was.  
"You're awfully quiet, Doc. What's bothering you?" He asked, with mock concern in his voice, his smile turned downwards and his eyes big with pretend worry. She stared at him, didn't answer. Maybe she should? It was probably not a good idea to push the man's patience. But what should she say? That she was terrified of having the clown prince of crime in her apartment? Like that wouldn't be reason enough for him to kill her. It had all been fun and games during their sessions, but now...  
The clown scuffed, his expression of worry gone in a blink, and disappeared into her kitchen fumbling around, pretending he hadn't already been through every cabinet and drawer. He then returned to the hallway looking at her with his intense eyes. "You don't have anything to eat. How do you even live?" He asked. He sounded a little annoyed with her. She swallowed and spoke, her voice shaking "I... I didn't expect c-company." She said, apologising for her lack of food. The Joker looked at her, unimpressed. "I could order you something?" she quickly added.  
"Eating in, eh? I know a lovely little Italian place that serves the best spaghetti! What'cha you say, doc, wanna' be the dog to my... dog?" He asked, laughing, all traces of anger gone, his big smile back as fast as he spoke.  
Harleen looked at him for a while then smiled as she got the joke, her smile became little giggles. There was just something about the way he spoke... even though he was one of the most dangerous inmates at Arkham he was kind of charming. She then nodded "I could eat some spaghetti..." she hadn't noticed before, but she was getting kind of hungry.  
"Woooonderful!" he said loudly, almost before she was finished speaking. "I'll just call them up, and have them bring something over!". As he spoke, he walked to her phone and picked it up, pressing in the number. He spoke loud and fast, knowing just what to say, what to order, and, most worrying, the exact address to have it delivered to. Harleen looked at him in wonder. She would have told him not to, that she was perfectly capable of ordering herself, but he'd already finished when she mustered the courage. "Why are you here?" she wanted to ask, but she just looked at him half smiling half plotting her escape.  
"I know what you are thinking" he said, lowering his head slightly, looking her straight into the eyes, almost straight through her. His smile had turned more sinister.  
Her eyes fixed on his smile. She found she had a hard time reading him when she couldn't control him, not that she ever really could. "Y-you do?" She asked her voice almost a whisper.  
"Why, yes" he replied, not blinking, still smiling. "What now? Why is he here? What does he want!? How can a simple mortal man look so devilishly handsome...?" His hands flailed about as he spoke, his voice ranging from deep to almost high pitched, but as he spoke the last word his voice lowered, becoming smooth, almost sensual, and he looked at her with a look that was almost... flirting? Harleen felt her cheeks warming and she look away "Well... you are very handsome." she had to give him that one. Even if he had been joking, which he probably hadn't completely been. She forced herself to look at him, trying as hard as she could to muster up her stern doctor-face, "So... Why _are_ you here? Now that you brought it up yourself." Her heart was pounding in her chest and her hands where sweaty, but she wasn't going to let it show. She was a strong independent woman after all... was she not?  
He sat down on her couch and looked up at her, as confident as if it had been his own living room they were in, and not hers. "Why don't we make ourselves... Comfortable?" He said, with a smile as charming as it was dangerous, patting the spot on the couch next to him, as to say come, sit. She looked at him for a while, considering her options. On one hand, being that close to him could be very dangerous. On the other so couldn't stay here, disobeying his unspoken order. She walked up to him, gave him a quick smile then slid down on the couch next to him, but still as far away as she could without it looking to obvious that she felt uncomfortable. She looked at him, waiting for him to speak.  
"Why doc, what's with the "professional distance" ?" he asked with an eyebrow cocked and a teasing tone in his voice. She looked at him, thinking of something to say, but couldn't. "I'm afraid of you" was probably not what he wanted to hear. "Tell me why you're here." she said again, trying to be stern, but even she could hear the fear in her voice. She tried to cover it with a warm smile.  
"Hehehe, ooh doc, you little tease" he said, throwing his head back. "You need to learn to loosen up! You aren't at work anymore, you know". He moved his head slightly closer to her as he spoke. She had expected herself to pull away from him, but she didn't. he was so intriguing. She followed his tone "But, you are my work, Joker." She emphasised the word "are". He tilted his head slightly, as to say "oh, finally playing my game?". But instead he said "but that's just it, see? It's almost as if there is... more, yes?" More? She bit her lip, yes, she had to admit she had felt a certain attraction to him. And, sure, she had on more than one occasion talked herself into not acting on it. He was so close to her, she could almost smell the chemicals on his skin... or was she imagining it? She sighed, she couldn't deny it... but could she confirm in him? She settled on playing his game a little longer. "What can I say? I like my job." she joked... Or did she really?  
He smiled his dangerous smile and leaned even closer, his mouth right next to her ear.  
"Well, Miss Quinzel, I like your... "job" too." She could almost feel his eyes looking down her buttoned down shirt. The tip of his tongue gently touched her cheek. "HA-arley" She backed as far away as the couch allowed her. She cleared her throat. "C-call me Harley." she said trying to save her outburst. She wasn't sure if she'd backed away because she was scared of him or because she was scared of the fact that she had liked it. Her cheeks where burning red as she smiled somewhat awkwardly at him. He moved closer, his knee on the couch. He was towering over her.  
"Harley" he said, smiling slyly. "Haaaar-ley". He said again, tasting the name. "I like it. And I like... you". He looked her straight in the eye when he said it. He had stopped smiling, but there was a tease in his tone. Harley swallowed as she sank under him. This wasn't good, she was letting him get the upper hand. "I like you too" she whispered. Shut up, Harleen, she told herself. She really should stop playing his games and call someone. She looked at his eyes, a shy smile falling on her lips. He leaned closer, closer... So close now, she could feel his breath on her face... She closed her eyes, half hoping he wouldn't hurt her, half hoping he would kiss her. But nothing happened. She opened her eyes slightly and found that the Joker was gone. He was halfway to the door before she realised the doorbell had sounded. She sat up, saved by the bell. Wait... bell? He wasn't going to open the door, was he? She sprinted after him, she grabbed his arm and pulled "No!" She then gasped and let go of him realising what she was doing. "I mean... I'll get it."  
He looked at her, almost impressed, with a slight smile on his face. "Be my guest" he said, bowing and pointing his hands towards the door.  
She went over and grabbed the door handle, but before she could open the door, the Joker slammed his hand right past her face, holding the door closed. Harley gasped and looked at his face, right next to hers. He gently touched her lips with his finger. She gasped, tense under his touch.  
"Sssshh" he said. "We wouldn't want to end the date prematurely". He removed his hand and winked, taking a step back, behind the door. She opened it, only the door between the Joker and the unsuspecting delivery boy outside. Harley felt her heart pounding. had he just threatened to kill her? She smiled at the delivery boy, who looked to be around her own age. he was holding the food the Joker had ordered and wore a dull expression on his face. "That'll be $15." She smiled at him "Sure, one second." She went to grab her purse, she shot the Joker a nervous look as she returned. She handed him the money and he handed her the food. "No tips?" he said, sounding frustrated. She shrugged at him and was about to close the door. "You know, I took a risk coming here. With the prison break and all. You never know who you could run into out there." he said putting a foot in her door. "Prison break?" she asked though she knew what he meant. "Yeah, the Joker." the delivery man said and shuttered. "Oh. He's... a scary man." Harleen said and sighed finding some more money for him. She didn't really feel like he deserved it. The man nodded "Indeed, I wouldn't want to run into him. Especially not now that it's dark." Harley handed him some extra money "No, that would be awful." she said and waved him off. "Thanks, ma'am" He said before she closed the door. Harley exhaled and slid down the door, that had been a little too close for her taste.  
"Aaaw, poor Harley" the Joker said, slightly mocking. He reached a hand towards her, as if to help her up, but when she moved her hand towards his, he instead grabbed the food and went to her kitchen, leaving her at the door.  
"come, Harl'!" He yelled. She could hear the sound of plates and forks... and knives. She got up and went to her kitchen where she stood in the doorway looking at the Joker. He had his back turned to her. It was a strange sight. She'd never imagined him to do every-day things, such as preparing for dinner. She smiled at him "It's been a while since I've eating in here." she said as she walked into the kitchen. She could smell the food, her stomach growling. She looked to the knife in his hand and her smile faded a bit. He turned around, and she couldn't help but giggle. The Joker was wearing her flower apron.  
He put the knife down next to the plate closest to Harleen and winked at her. She walked closer and he came over and pulled her chair out for her. She sat down and he came over with the food. He. The Joker. She couldn't believe it. The most dangerous criminal in Gotham was here, in her kitchen, serving her food, wearing her apron! Surely he couldn't be as bad as they said, could he?  
"So, how was your day, dear?" The Joker asked, as he sat down. He didn't look at her as he spoke. Harleen was unsure if he actually wanted her to answer but she decided to do so anyway. She sighed dramatically "Long." She looked down at her food. "There was a breakout at Arkham again... And seeing how it was my patient who escaped," she looked up at him briefly before returning her gaze to the food "I had to go over the tapes and file reports. Very tiring." she yawned. "But no one could figure out how he got out or where he went... so he's still out there somewhere" she looked out the window behind the Joker, as if she was pondering his whereabouts.  
The Joker looked at her. "You poor thing" he said. "A breakout can be such a hard thing". He made a sound, as if he was trying to choke a giggle. Harleen nodded, then looked straight at him. "So, why did you do it? Surely you must have something planned? Other than eating pasta with your doctor, that is." she said and took a bite of her food. It was good pasta, she had to give him that.  
"Sure I have!" he said, smiling widely and throwing his hands over his head, pasta flying off the fork in his hand. "But you better eat up now, Harl, then I promise that I'll tell. Or, better yet, show you..." he said, the right corner of his mouth curling upwards in a dangerous smile. Harleen instantly regretted having asked. Having the Joker show you what he broke out for couldn't possibly be a good thing. She took a bite more of her food. "It's really good." she said trying to lighten the mood, well at least her own mood. "Well of course it is" he said, as if she had told him something as obvious as the fact that the sky is blue. "I did after all pick it out". He shoved a fork full of pasta into his mouth. "I know, I'm just saying... I did know you liked pasta." she said smiled at him. There was so much about him she felt she knew... yet she'd never asked him about everyday-stuff like this. It was somewhat exciting. She took some more pasta into her mouth smiling at him with a closed mouth. The rest of the meal went by in silence, Harleen felt herself enjoying looking at him eat. She would never in her wildest dreams have imagined that she could sit here not talking but also not feeling awkward or more so, scared.  
The Joker looked at her plate, and seeing it empty, he stood up. Harleen thought he was going to get her plate. He went around the table and stood behind her chair. He leaned down, his face right next to her head. "You wanted to know why I broke out?" he said. She nodded slowly, not as scared as she thought she would be.  
He chuckled and gently touched her throat, his fingers caressing her, downwards. She felt his hands on her skin, he wasn't wearing his gloves anymore. His hands were warm. "The reason I broke out" he whispered into her ear, "was you". Her heart was racing again. her? In what way? For most people the "If he was going to kill you he already would have" would be a good way of calming down, but you never knew with the Joker. "Me?" she tried to giggle, but it sounded sort of dry in her throat. "You already had me at Arkham."  
"You silly thing" he said, with a slight laugh. "I didn't have you _to myself_." His fingers slid around her throat and tightened slightly. Harleen felt a certain panic raise in her, but she decided it would be best not to fight him. She leaned her head back until it pressed against his shoulder. This way she showed him she trusted him, even though she didn't completely. Part of her didn't think he'd kill her, and even if that was what he was doing, she would never win a fight against him.  
"You see, life in an asylum can get lonely, and I enjoy our times together, so I figured it was time to take our..._ relationship_ to the next level". He moved his hand up her throat, to her jaw, and gently but hard pulled her head to the side, his mouth hovered over hers, he smiled slightly, looking intensely at her lips. She looked at him breathing heavily. He was so close to her, so... handsome. She looked at the lines on his face and around his mouth. His lips so red against his white skin. She felt herself slowly sliding closer until she could feel them against hers. They where warm and... softer that she'd imagined. She felt her heart flutter. This was crazy. He pressed his lips a little harder against hers, more intense. It wasn't a bad thing. He held his hand around her throat and kept his lips against hers, kissing her until she was completely out of breath. She tried to pull away, but he kept his lips pressed against hers.  
He finally let go enough for her to pull away and take a deep breath. She gasped the first breath of air in, before breathing more regularly. She looked at the Joker, blushing. She'd wanted to do that for a long time. He was so dangerous, so close, so charming. She wanted more. She kissed him again, her one hand wandering to his tie pulling him closer. He pulled her to her feet, still kissing her. He held her close with one arm and used the other , in one violent movement, to push everything off the table, breaking plates and getting food all over the floor. He lifted Harleen off her feet and sat her on the table, now kissing her neck. Harleen held onto his blazer. This was unreal. She led a hand wander to his hair, sliding it playfully through. She'd always thought his hair to be very pretty.  
He pulled away slightly, smiled and looked down. He touched her face with both his hands and let them slide slowly down her face, her throat, towards her breasts. suddenly he ripped her shirt open, buttons flew off and hit the floor. A small gasp escaped her. His hands went around her, touching her naked skin. He kissed her again, even more passionately. he pulled her closer, and she felt her bra being opened, swiftly and experienced. She pulled away, not too far, just enough for her to speak "It's been awhile..." it had. She hadn't really been with anyone for as long as she'd lived in Gotham. It wasn't that she wanted him to be gentle... although she could imagine his gentle was still pretty wild. She just felt like she had to let him know. She let a finger trail over the buttons of his shirt before leaning into the kiss again. She felt his hands all over her body. Up and down her back, underneath her shirt, a surprisingly gentle hand under her bra, squeezing her breast. She could feel that he got more aroused by the touch of her body, as his kisses became wilder and deeper. With one hand cupping her breast he let his other hand gently, slowly slide up her thigh, under her skirt. His hands where warmer against his slightly cold skin. His touch excited her. She slowly unbuttoned his west and then his shirt, allowing herself to let her hands run over his warm skin. They wandered to his back feeling his warmth and pulling him even closer. She pressed her stomach against his, grinning against his lips. He removed his hand from underneath her skirt, taking her panties with him. He left them dangling around her ankles. Harleen smirked, her heart beating fast. This was all happening so fast, though she had often thought of it during their time together at Arkham. She felt excited, she knew she wanted him, and at this time she didn't even care that he was a known killer.  
The Joker's hands left her body, and she heard the sound of his zipper opening. She looked him in the eyes and bit her lip playfully. His pants hit the floor. She smiled up at him then looked down "Uhm... let's not take this... relationship... too far. Do you have a condom?" She then laughed. She'd never thought that was a question she'd have to ask one of Gotham's most wanted.  
"I'm hurt you even feel the need to ask" He said smiling, and pulled out a long line of connected condom packs from his jacket. It continued, like a long line of handkerchiefs in the pocket of a clown. Harleen giggled a little at his gag. He ripped one off and tossed the rest on the floor. He also let his blazer join the condoms, and his pants, on the floor. He kept intense eye contact, sometimes kissing her, as he put on the rubber.  
He placed his hands on her thighs, and in a strong move separated them. She let out a small surprised sound. She looked the Joker in the eyes, smiled playfully. She laid herself down on the table, she was his now. She supposed he'd always felt that she was, but she couldn't deny it anymore. She wanted him and now she was going to get him.


	2. Sick Days

The next day Harleen woke up from the sound of her alarm buzzing. "Just a dream" she mumbled a little disappointed as she reached out to shut it. She froze mid-reach. There, under her arm, right next to her, was the Joker. He didn't seem to be wearing a shirt. The alarm buzzed louder and she reached over and shut it off. She crawled halfway over him. She had to go to work. But... could she leave him inside her apartment? What if he trashed the place? What if he left? "Call in sick." His voice was rasp but stern. A direct order. She looked down at him. He looked up at her, his hair was slightly messed and his lipstick smeared. He didn't smile. He just looked at her waiting for her to do as she was told. Although she felt a lot more comfortable around him after last night, she was still afraid to disobey him... to disappoint him. "Okay." She said crawling off and walking to her phone.  
It wasn't a long phone-call. She hadn't had any sick-days before and now her only patient was... away. It really didn't matter much that she couldn't make it in today.  
It wasn't before she had hung up the thought of telling them who was in her bedroom crossed her mind. She told herself that it really didn't matter... as long as he was here with her, he couldn't hurt anyone, right? So in a way it didn't matter much whether he was here or at Arkham. She gave herself a nod before returning to the bedroom, where she found the Joker now sitting on her bed. He wasn't wearing anything but a pair of pale purple boxers with yellow dots. He looked kind of brooding in the dim light. He was very thin, bony even. She hadn't really studied his body before, yesterday she had been busy... Feeling it. She stood there for while, she wasn't sure for how long, just watching him.  
He had scars and fading bruises scattered around his body, signs of struggle. It wasn't fair that they had to be so rough when bringing him in, it wasn't right. He glared at her, looking rather annoyed. Then he flashed her a big smile. "Say, what's for dinner, Harl'?" he asked, his voice dripping with a sort of... sweetness? Harley sighed, she hadn't thought of breakfast, she usually grabbed something on the way to work and she didn't really eat breakfast in the weekends.  
"You saw what I have yesterday." she said, "But I can go out and get some. What would you like?" A thoughtful look crossed the clowns face. "One of each." "One of each?" She asked. The clown laughed, then shrugged "Anything is better than what they serve in Arkham." he said with a dark undertone. Harleen began gathering some clothes while she spoke "Eggs?" she hadn't had eggs for breakfast in a long time. "Whatever." He answered in a dull uninterested tone, it was clear he'd stopped caring the moment he'd been promised there'd be food. "Oh, and get snacks." he ordered. She smiled at him and nodded as she dressed herself in a T-shirt and skirt. Normally she wouldn't like to dress in front of people, but after yesterday and the fact that he himself was only in his boxers, she felt it would be a strange effort to go to the bathroom just to get changed. She was about to leave, but paused and looked back at the Joker. A thought had crossed her mind. "You'll be here when I get back, right?"  
He looked at her for a moment, then his face changed back to the smile everyone knew. "Probably" he said, with a teasing tone. Harleen sighed, her heart felt a little heavy. "I'd like you to..." She said, almost whispered, as if she didn't want herself to hear it. It would, after all, be so much easier for her if he left, right? Right. But she wasn't sure she wanted easy right now.  
Harleen stood in the door for a while, just looking. Suddenly the Joker stood up and walked over to her. He stood close to her, tall and imposing, and although he was only in his boxers, he was still powerful and in charge. He leaned close to her face, smiled and said "Go on, then". He then touched her nose with his finger, turned around, and went to the living room. Harleen heard the sound of the TV turning on and unmistakable cartoon sounds filled the small apartment. She smiled to herself and shook her head before grabbing her coat and wallet and left.  
Outside Gotham was still waking up, the air was cold and the streets were bathed in the dim light from the streetlights. On her way to the supermarket she passed a news stand:  
"Joker escapes Arkham. 3 confirmed dead"  
3? She didn't remember any casualties at Arkham. She shuttered and made a mental note to ask him about it. She was doing Gotham a favour really, keeping him with her and not out here.  
It took Harleen a while to figure out what to buy, once she was at the supermarket. She didn't really know what the Joker liked to eat, other than he didn't mind eggs. But what about snacks? She decided to play it safe and got a little bit of everything. She smiled to herself. He had requested one of each, right?  
The cashier shot Harleen a judging look as he beeped all of her snacks in, but Harleen just shrugged at him as she paid. She had filled four shopping bags with food. They were heavy, and it took her a while to get home.  
As she finally reached her apartment door, she realised she'd forgotten to bring her keys. _please, door, tell me you didn't lock yourself._ She begged as she put down the grocery bags and pressed down on the handle. It didn't budge. Great. Now she'd have to ring her own doorbell, how embarrassing. Would he even open the door? If he was still there... Of course he was, she told herself. He had sort of implied he would be.  
She sighed as she rang her own doorbell. It buzzed shortly on the other side of the door. She waited a while, but there was no answer. She rang it again, this time holding the button in a little longer. She waited again. Footsteps.  
"Who iiiis iiiit?" the Jokers voice rang out in an almost sing-song way. Harleen bit her lip. "I-it's me, Harley... I forgot to bring my key." She said to the door. There was a short pause, then the sound of the door being unlocked. The door opened slightly, only enough for the Joker to look out with one eye.  
"Saaay?" The Joker said, with a thick, gangster accent, like the ones only found in older movies. "You got the goods, yeah?" Harleen couldn't help but giggle, she then tried to look as serious as she could as she nodded towards the bags on the floor. "Yeah."  
"An' ya' made sure ain't nobody follow ya' here, yeah?" Harleen smiled at him "I'm pretty sure I shook 'em off. Can I please come in, _boss_?" she said the last word in a joking tone with a gangster-like nod. He seemed to be in a good mood, so she figured she'd keep it that way by playing along, besides, it was kind of fun to be able to play along with his gimmicks for a change. He opened the door violently and waved his hand to say come in.  
"Hurry up inside, toots, see?" He said with a big smile. He was wearing his orange shirt, but he apparently hadn't bothered to put on any more clothes, because he only had his boxer shorts on as well. She picked up the groceries and grinned at him "Aw, ya' got all dressed up for me? You shouldn't have." She joked in a moment of overwhelming confidence. A confidence she lost as soon as she had finished talking, so she quickly added "Have you been watching gangster-films?" She smiled shyly as she closed the door behind her.  
He gave her an interested smile and a pat on her behind as she walked by.  
"Me?" He said. "Noooo."He continued, as he nodded. "Yes, yes I have." He concluded. Harleen smiled at him "I thought so." She paused for a while "Do you still want eggs?" She asked. She didn't really feel like cooking anything. It had been a long walk home and she was tired, but on the other hand she was hungry too. He'd decide what they should eat, she thought. She wouldn't mind cooking as much, if it was for him. "Eggs?" he said confused and slightly annoyed.  
"Let's see what you got." he said, changing the subject. She smiled at him "One of each, right?" She showed him the heavy bags, feeling a little more funny than she probably was.  
He looked at the bags, then at her, then back at the bags. Harleen couldn't figure out if the look on him was that of impressed or confused. "Interesting." he said, turned around, and walked to the kitchen, leaving Harleen with all the bags. She sighed and followed him placing the bags on the kitchen counter. "Got plans for today?" She asked, hoping the answer would be no. He had after all asked her to call in sick, so why would he have other plans? _Maybe he just wanted to show you he could make you do it._ She shook her head. No, he wouldn't do that, would he?  
"Plans? Yes, I have." He said. Harleen felt slightly disappointed. The Joker had looked through the bags and turned around to face Harleen, juggling with three apples.  
"There is a Marx Brothers marathon on tonight!" He said enthusiastically. "Figured we could watch 'em!" His tone didn't sound like it was a question. Harley beamed at him watching the apples as they shifted from one hand to the other. "Sure." She said although she knew she really didn't have a say in the matter. She then looked away. She actually had no idea what Marx Brothers was. Should she ask? It would probably be best not to. "What's Marx Brothers?" she flinched. _Why did you do that?_ she asked herself.  
The apples hit the ground.  
"What." He said. "Is. Marx. Brothers...?" Harleen nodded. She didn't know what else to do.  
The Joker threw his arms over his head. "Why, only the finest comedy trio (well, not counting Zeppo, but who does?) since, well, forever!" He moved up to Harleen and took her hands in his. "How can you live your life, not knowing who THE Marx Brothers are!? It will be my duty, nay, honour, to educate you in the fine art of classic comedy!" He said and laughed. Harleen breathed a small sigh of relief before smiling at him. She waited until he was done laughing his wonderful laugh before saying: "I'll be sure to pay close attention, then!" She then noticed her hands were still in the Joker's. She blushed slightly. She had to admit, she was beginning to really enjoy his company, and not just because he was so good-looking. He had such... passion. She really admired that about him.  
He looked at her smile for a second, the suddenly leaned in and kissed her, sweet and passionate. He then let go of her and walked towards her bedroom. "Be a dear and fix us some food." He said, before disappearing into the other room. Harleen followed him with her eyes until he was gone before she began preparing breakfast. It wasn't long before the kitchen began to smell wonderfully of eggs, bacon and pancakes. Her stomach growled. She had just finished the last pancake when the Joker returned to the kitchen wearing his trademark purple suit. He sent her a charming smile and sat down at the table. She brought him a plate with a little bit of everything on, and one for herself, a little smaller, then utensils. She sat down and began eating her food, she then remembered the news stand.  
"So uhm... Mr. J. You made the news today, or was it yesterday's news?" she said fumbling nervously around with her food. "It said you killed 3 people." She stated. It was supposed to be a question, but it really wasn't.  
"Hm?" He said, busy eating his food. "Oh. Yes, yes, that sounds about right." He continued eating.  
"W-why?" That sounded harsh. "I mean... tell me about it, please?" she wasn't sure she wanted to know, not sure she could let it go either, now that she knew it had happened. She played around with her food a little, avoiding eye-contact.  
"Well." He started. "You do live a long way away from the asylum, and I can't exactly take the bus, now can I?" Harleen was beginning to lose her appetite. It was her fault. "N-no I guess not... but..." _you could have let them live_. She didn't say the last part. She wasn't sure how to, without it sounding like she blamed him. She'd stopped playing with her food and was just starring at it now.  
"But nothing, Harley." He said, slightly annoyed. "I have a busy schedule, places to go and such, and besides, they weren't anyone, it's not like they matter." Harley forced herself to look at him. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. "I'm sorry." She said, her voice breaking. It hadn't been her intention to upset him.  
"Oh, you." He said and smiled. "That's okay, everyone makes mistakes. Now eat up, we can't sit here forever." his smile calmed her down a little, but she'd lost her appetite. She tried to send him a quick smile, but she suspected it hadn't really worked. "I'm not really that hungry." She got up and placed her plate on the counter, thinking she'd clean it later. She turned around and to her surprise the Joker stood right behind her.  
"You seem unwell, Harley my dear." He said, almost sincere. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She could hear his heart beat under his clothing. "I'm just..." _not that good at dealing with death_ "... tired." she lied, but lie became more and more the truth. His steady heart seemed to lull her, she felt almost drowsy. His scent and presence seemed to take away any guilt and worries she had had.  
"Then come, come my dear!" He said, taking her hand and leading her to the living room, snatching up a bag of microwave popcorn from one of the shopping bags on the way. They went in and sat down in the couch in front of the TV. He looked at the bag of popcorn, gave out an annoyed sigh, got up again, and went to the microwave to pop them. A little later he came back with a bag of popped popcorn and sat down close to Harleen. He turned on the TV on browsed the channels until he found cartoons. He opened the popcorn and shoved a handful in his mouth, then a handful in Harleen's face.  
"Still a while until the Marx-a-thon, so you might as well rest a bit." he said to Harleen, while looking at the TV, chuckling at the cartoon. She looked at him smiling at his chuckles. "Anything you say, sir." she mumbled with a yawn. She gave his chest a longing look before leaning on the pillow next to her. She glanced at the TV.  
The Joker poked her shoulder , asking: "Harley?". She turned her head, but before she could reply, he forcefully pulled her to him, kissed her, and placed his arm around her, pressing her head against his chest and leaning his pointy chin on the top of her head. Her heart was beating a little fast from the shock and her cheeks was red from the kiss. A blissful smile formed on her lips as she closed her eyes and listened to the Jokers heart and laughs. It wasn't long before she dosed off.

Two hours later Harleen was awoken by a particularly loud laugh from the Joker. Her head was still on his chest and his arm around her. She sighed happily, it had been one of the best naps she'd ever had. She straitened herself up, some popcorns fell off her head as she did so. She looked at it as it fell onto the couch. She sighed. Well she did have to shower today anyway. "Morning." She mumbled looking at the Joker, who was preoccupied with the TV.  
"It's close to five thirty." He said, not taking his eyes from the cartoons. "The Marx-a-thon starts soooon!" She looked at the TV, smiling to herself. "Oh." She hadn't thought it was that late yet. Her stomach growled, she hadn't really eaten much today. "I bought pie. Should I warm it?" She asked getting up.  
"Yes!" He said enthusiastically. She beamed at him as she went to her kitchen to heat the pie. She didn't notice at first, but she was humming happily to herself. She turned on the oven and took a glass of water as she waited for it to preheat. She looked out her window, out at Gotham. She was so lucky. Out of all the people in the City the Joker had chosen her. She finished her glass of water and placed the pie in the now warm oven. She sat down in front of the oven looking in, watching the pie. She didn't know why, but she'd always done that ever since she was a kid. After a minute or so, the Joker appeared in her door step. "What are you doing out here?" He asked. She looked at him, he looked back. A dull look of boredom on his face. "Pie-watching." She said and shrugged.  
"Hm." He said. "Is it done soon?" She smiled at him, beaming almost. "Yeah, soon-ish!" She returned her gaze to the oven "Have I ever told you, that I like your laugh?" She asked, still looking at the pie. For some reason it was easier to say such things when she could have her eyes fixed on something else. Sure, his laughter had been scary yesterday, but she hadn't been prepared for it then. Since then he had laughed many times and she had found herself falling more and more in love with it.  
"No, you have not." He said with a confident smile. "And of course you do." He went over to her, bent down, and gently put his hand around her throat. He smiled at her and pressed his lips against hers. "Get the pie done, I'm getting hungry." He said, and went back into the living room.  
Another minute passed before Harleen joined him in the living room with the pie in one oven mitt covered hand and two plates with forks in the other. She sat the plates and hot pie down on her coffee table. The pie rested on the oven mitt and filled the room with a sweet scent. She sat down next to the clown. She looked at the pie, plates and forks and sighed deeply "I forgot a knife to cut it with... Would it be awful to just eat it from the pie-tin?" She asked, not wanting to get up again. She just wanted to sit here with her Joker.  
He grabbed a fork and looked at her with a smile. "Is there any other way?" He asked, winked at her and stabbed the pie with the fork, scooped up a bite and shoved it in his mouth.  
"Ah ah, hot!" He said, waving his hands in front of his open mouth. Harleen chocked a giggle. She didn't feel it was nice to laugh at him when he was in pain, but the way he moved made it look so comical... almost cartoon-ish. Apparently she didn't hide it well enough, because he looked annoyed at her and said: "Just get me something to drink." Harleen gave him a quick nod and hurried to the kitchen where she got a glass of water for him. She returned and handed him the glass. "Sorry." She said, sending him an apologetic smile. "Whatever. Water over the bridge." He said, and gestured for her to sit down next to her again. "Over?" she asked, sitting down.  
"Yes, and the bridge is full of people that ask silly questions and they all get swept away and drown, the end. Now eat pie and watch comedy history unfold, for the first of the movies... Is about to begin!" He said the last part overly dramatic, and Harleen could just glimpse a smile on his face. She took a piece of pie, blew on it and put in her mouth. She sent him a look that asked "_Are you happy now?"  
_He looked at her, smiled again and put his arm around her. "Good girl." He said, and kissed her on her forehead.  
The first movie started and they sat quietly and watched it, eating most of the pie. From time to time Harleen would laugh out loud, and every time, the Joker would squeeze her a little tighter or kiss her on her cheek. Sometimes she would look at his face and see that he was silently mouthing the words along with the actors, and he merrily sang along to most of the songs. She felt very honoured that the Joker would share something with her that he obviously felt so strongly about.


	3. Back to Business

Harleen woke to the sound of the television buzzing. Some children's show about a blue dog leaving clues for his human friend, was running. She had fallen asleep in front of the TV, her head was laying on something purple, the Joker's leg. His breathing was heavy and slow. Harleen smiled to herself, he was sleeping. His head rested on the back of the couch.  
It was Saturday, so she didn't have to get up at any specific time. The Joker was her only patient, but she wasn't his only doctor and on Saturdays and Sundays she had no sessions with him and usually didn't have to come in.  
She laid still for a while, just listening to the Joker's breathing and glancing at the TV every now and then. She felt oddly safe and protected like this. She sat up and reached for the remote, getting a little tired of Blue's Clues. She glanced at the Joker, who was still sleeping. He looked so sweet and peaceful like this, almost like her own little angel. Sighed happily before flipping through the channels. "Still no sign of the Joker." Said a news anchor before he was replaced by a documentary about Africa's big cats. Harleen placed the remote back on the coffee table settling for the cats. She liked animals after all. Not wanting to leave the Joker and still wanting to eat breakfast she settled on the leftover pie. It was a little while before the Joker finally woke up. "Morning!" Harleen said happily. "Did you sleep well?"  
The Joker lifted his head slowly and leaned it first to the left, until his neck cracked loudly, then to the right. Harleen flinched at the sound. The Joker yawned and said: "Mornin'. Yes, well, not bad..." Harleen leaned in and gently kissed his cheek. She wasn't really sure if he would let her do it, but she just felt she had to. ""Not bad" is always something, I guess." She said, smiling sweetly at him.  
The Joker sent her half a smile and stood up and stretched. "Well, can't sit here all day. Only a couple of hours left until..." He paused.  
"Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?" she asked in a light tone after a few moments of silence. "The same thing we... " He said, but stopped when he realised her reference. He looked surprised at her and laughed. Harleen felt very proud of herself for having made him laugh at her joke. Sure, he was a man who often laughed, but most of the time it was from his wit, really. She smiled at him, waiting for him to finish telling her his plans for the day. She was a little curious. He sounded as though something was to happen at a certain time.  
They stood and looked at each other for a while, both with a look of anticipation. The Joker broke the silence: "Well, I'm going to go take a shower now." He started walking towards the bathroom. When he reached the door, he was only wearing his pants, his clothes were scattered on the floor behind him. Harleen had followed him, working up the courage to ask him again about his plans. She hadn't had much luck with repeating questions at their sessions. It often just made him irritable and uncooperative, but she had to know. What if it was dangerous? What if he got hurt?  
"Aren't you going to tell me your plans?" She tried softly. "My plans?" he said, looking back at her. "My plan is taking a shower." He teased, with an overly confused look on his face. Harleen paused for a while trying to choose her words. "Mr. J... I've worked with you for some time now and... Well, I feel like I know how to read your hints." She switched to her more stern doctor-tone without really realising it "You've indicated you have plans to do... something today. I'd like to know what you're going to do." She looked him in the eyes and added a careful "Please?"  
He walked over to her, all traces of smile gone from his face. He stood close to her, tall and threatening, looked down on her and said:" You'd like to know, eh? You want me to tell you my plans? You want to tell me what to do!?" As he said it, he walked closer to her, forcing her to walk backwards until she hit a wall. Harleen shook her head slowly, she was shaking. "N-no that's not it all. I..." tears was trying to force themselves out her eyes "I don't want you to get hurt, that's all." She said, her voice low and her eyes fixed on his.  
He stepped up close to her and put his hands around her, pressing her into his bare chest. "Shh shh shh, easy now." He said and kissed her head. "It's nothing , really, just some old... friends I need to go talk to. We had a plan, they... _Changed_ it." He said the last part with an angry sneer.  
"Oh..." She whispered and wrapped her arms around him. "That's wasn't very nice of them..."  
"Indeed not, my dear." He said. "So I just need to go find them, where I just know they will be." He smiled to himself, then, still holding firmly on to Harleen, turned around, swinging her with him, and walked them both to the bathroom. Harleen decided it would be best not to bother him more about this plan of his. She knew her tones pretty good and he seemed to have said all he wanted about this subject, but there was still one question that bothered her. She had to ask. She looked up at him, her expression concerned. "You... will you... be back?" she asked, almost afraid. He was at times unpredictable and dangerous, but she couldn't deny she loved his company.  
He looked down at her with a devious smile. "Would you like me to?"  
She rested her head on his chest and nodded against it. She didn't look up. She felt almost ashamed to admit it. She knew it was wrong, crazy even. The Joker lifted his hands to her cheeks and squeezed them together, then he kissed her lips and said: "If I don't make it back, I'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of my life!" He laughed, but then suddenly looked serious at her, an almost concerned look on his face that Harleen never had seen before. "Harley, I... I want to... To see you again... I..." He looked away. His face looked conflicted, like he didn't want to admit his own feelings. He then turned around and turned on the water in the shower. She looked at him, a flattered dreaming smile on her lips. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind. She knew what he didn't want to say it, knew he wasn't the type. She felt very happy that he would almost admit to liking her back, although she had felt it in his actions before. She didn't want to push him for more and kissed his back softly and changed the subject: "You can't take a shower with your pants on... Or I suppose you _can,_ but I wouldn't recommend it."  
"Hehehe." He chuckled and unbuttoned his pants. They slid down his legs and he stepped out of them, then kicked them against the closed bathroom door. She smiled and turned away, walking to the door to leave him alone to shower in peace. "Undress." She turned around. "What?" She asked, not sure if she had heard him right. "Undress and come here." He said. He didn't sound angry, just firm. She looked at him for a moment before she slowly undressed. She felt awkward and exposed somehow, even though he'd seen it before. She joined him under the hot water. It was nice, refreshing. She still felt a little awkward and shy, but she let her hand run over his chest and arms, feeling his scars and bruises. She frowned, it just wasn't right. He ran his hands up her back and pressed her to him, then he leaned down and kissed her.  
After the shower the Joker got dressed and prepared to leave. She watched him with dread. She didn't want him to leave, but she knew she couldn't do anything about it. There was no way he would change his mind. "Be safe." she whispered almost too low for him to hear.  
The Joker flashed her a sinister grin. "It's not me you should be worried about..."  
He turned around and opened the door, but then stopped and turned his head to her. "You should get out too, you know." He said. "Go shopping, have some fun. Stop worrying so much." Harleen flashed him a half smile before he left. She was alone in her now silent apartment. She was alone with her thoughts now. She shivered. She thought about her growing feelings for the Joker and how little time had passed before she had gotten completely used to having him around. She then thought of what he had said before he left: _it's not me you should be worried about_. She felt guilty. She hadn't even given the fact, that other people than him could get hurt, a thought. Her stomach twisted and she decided to clean the kitchen and listen to the radio to get her mind off of the insanity of the hole situation.  
She sang along to the tunes and had almost finished cleaning the entire kitchen when the song she was humming along to was interrupted by a male voice.  
"A robbery at the jewellery store on 5th and Loeb took a turn for the worse, as the Joker appeared on the scene. Eye-witness says he locked up the store trapping everyone inside. The Police are asking civilians to stay away from the site until the situation is under control. The police have yet to confirm any-" Harleen had turned off the radio. Her heart was beating uncontrollably fast in her chest. Something must have gone wrong and he was all alone... No one to help him. She had already put on her coat and boots before she realised she had made the decision to go help him.  
It didn't take her car long to get close to the store. Some of the road was blocked when she got closer so she decided to park her car and walk the rest of the way. The place was swarming with cops, reporters and civilian onlookers, so Harleen decided to go around the back and look for another way in. She found a backdoor, but before she could reach it, a voice called out:  
"This way is blocked ma'am. The Jo-" A policeman started, he looked young and inexperienced. Harleen interrupted him. "Joker. I know, I'm his doctor, I'm here to help." She flashed him her ID card, she had lying in her pocket. The policeman looked unsure of what to do, but she didn't wait for him to make up his mind. She walked up to the door.  
She stood still and stared at it. _you're not locked_ she mouthed at it as she carefully pressed down the handle. It went down and the door opened slightly and quietly. She could hear the Joker's laughter and the held back cries of panic. She entered the room wandering why nobody had thought to check the backdoor. The hallway led into a small storage room. She quickly made her way to the store itself. She appeared at the back of the room and froze. The Joker was standing in the middle of the room, his back turned to her. He hadn't seen her. On the floor in front of him and along the sides were people sitting with their hands on the back of their heads, their expressions filled with horror, fear and despair. Some of the people on the floor was dressed in all black with hoods pulled over their heads and masks covering their faces, they must be the friends he was talking about. She held her breath not sure what to do with herself. Some of the people had noticed her and looked at her with pleading faces. The Joker spoke: "I ask you again!: Since this was my plan... _My plan! _Then how come I wasn't invited!? How come, Vinnie-" He pointed a rather long gun at one of the masked men as he said it " How come I was all the way in Arkham!? How exactly was it the cops found me? HOW!?" He screamed as he walked over to the man named Vinnie. Harleen covered her mouth with her hands trying not to make a sound. She had seen the Joker angry before, but never like this. He pressed his gun into the man's head, but before he pulled the trigger, he noticed Harleen out from the corner of his eye. He paused and smiled. "Well, that's all... Water over the bridge!" He said and raised his gun. Harleen breathed a silent sigh of relief. She didn't know what she had expected, but this wasn't it. The Joker then turned around and walked to the middle of the room. "I'm not an unreasonable man." He said with a smile. "So if anyone wants to leave, now is your chance. Go on, It's okay."  
No one moved, Harleen almost wanted to leave herself, but she couldn't move her legs. Some of the people on the floor exchanged worried looks, and Harleen heard a woman who looked like she worked at the store whisper to a man in a suit: "Don't do it!"  
"Anyone. No? Last chance!" The Joker said with an evil grin.  
The masked man named Vinnie slowly stood up and said with a shaking voice: "That's it, I'm gettin' outa' here!" The Joker didn't turn around. He just stood there and smiled. Vinnie started running towards the door, but a few feet from it, a loud bang was heard, and Vinnie fell to the floor, dead. The Joker lowered his smoking gun. Harleen held back a scream, she watched as blood oozed from the dead body and onto the floor. "Anyone else?" He said in a mocking tone. _Just go_ Harleen told herself. She still couldn't move, she couldn't take her eyes off the dead body. Heart was beating so fast, so loudly... She was almost afraid he would hear it. But why was she afraid? She knew this man, didn't she? He wouldn't hurt her or anyone else... They could just leave, right? Sure he had shot Vinnie, but Vinnie was one of the guys the Joker wanted to speak with... Surely the offer only stood for the civilians. They could just leave if they didn't want to be here.  
She noticed one of the civilians staring at her. He looked to be a little older than the Joker, rich by the look of his clothing "help me." he mouthed at her. She pretended not to notice. "Help me." he repeated, this time out loud. Before any of them had time to react, the Joker was by the man's side, crouched down and with an arm around him. "I hear you need help?" The Joker said loudly, but with his firm gaze fixed on Harleen. The man was shaking, unable to speak out of fear. "My good man!" The Joker said, faking shock. "You're positively shaking! You need something to relax you a little, eh?" He grabbed the man's neck, and forcefully pushed him towards his Boutonnière. The man gasped as green gas shot from the flower. The Joker let go of the man and stood up. The man was coughing heavily... no, not coughing, laughing! Louder and louder. It was a grim and dry laughter, not at all like the Joker's. Harleen covered her ears, trying to drown out the twisted laughter. The man was still shaking, but now from the laughter, his eyes panicking and his lips stretched into a wide, uncontrollable smile. Harleen shut her eyes. She didn't want to look. She felt scared, she wished Someone would protect her... Hold her. Tears began running down her cheeks.  
Suddenly she felt a hand on her cheek, wiping away her tear. She opened one eye slightly and saw the wide smile of her Joker. "Don't worry Harl'." He said in a low voice. "I will be with you in just a sec." She looked at him, her fear disappearing slightly. She knew he would protect her. She held onto his arm. _Don't go_ she mouthed. She had wanted to say it out loud, but she couldn't get any sound out. He probably didn't see it, because he just pulled his arm from her and went to the other side of the room, where he got a big, black bag. He opened it and took out a handful of grenades. He walked around to the people sitting on the floor and placed one in the hands of some of them, pulling out the pins with a grin. He then went back to Harleen and took her in his arms. He held her tight as people started to scream in panic. She buried her face in his shoulder trying to drown out the screams. They didn't seem so scary when he was here to hold her. Suddenly the grenades started hissing, as green gas shot from them and filled most of the room."Woooh, so much green, and not a single lantern in sight! Why, I haven't seen this much green since Saint Patrick's day!" The Joker said and laughed maniacally. He placed a small gas mask over Harleen's mouth. She could no longer see any of the people on the floor, but she could hear them. No longer screaming, they were now laughing. She looked up at her Joker. His laughter was louder than the rest, a small smile formed on Harleen's lips as the room laughed with the Joker. She didn't know anyone else who could make a whole room laugh at his jokes. They stood there for a while, arms around each other, the Joker's laughter became chuckles and the chuckles a sinister grin. The laughter around them slowly died out as well with its owners.  
The gas slowly disappeared. The Joker looked around and said:"Well, that was fun! Come on Harl', it's time to go". He pulled the gas mask off her head a little rough, grabbed the black bag and stuffed the gas mask into it. Although the Joker had taken the grenades from the bag, it didn't look empty.  
Harleen looked around at the dead grins of the people on the floor. She shivered. Well, at least they went out with a smile, right? She looked at the Joker unsure of what to do, she decided to stay close to him. He grabbed her hand (or rather her wrist) and pulled her towards the front door. He opened it and showed Harley out first. Lights from a couple of police lights blinded her. The Joker put his arm around her throat and smiled. Harleen could hear one of the policemen shout: "Don't shoot! He's got a hostage!" Hostage? Her. She put a shaking hand on the Joker's arm slightly struggling for her freedom. She could feel his breath on her neck. She wasn't sure she liked this game any more.  
The Joker shouted to the cops: "I surrender! Please don't shoot!" He said the last part almost crying. Was he really afraid? The policemen looked around at each other. They clearly didn't know what to do. The Joker took the opportunity to quickly reach down his black bag, pull out a little white ball and roll it towards the policemen. Thick white smoke came out it as it hit the nearest police car. No one knew what was going on. there were the sound of policemen shouting, some shooting and the Jokers laughter echoing through the buildings and disappearing. Harleen dropped to her knees and covered her head, trying to stay out of the crossfire. She was shaking badly, she wasn't sure what had just happened. It had all been so terrifying and... exciting at the same time. Tears where rolling down her cheeks as a policeman ran up to her. "Ma'am are you hurt?" She shook her head. Everything that happened after that was a blur to Harleen. She knew she had been escorted to the police station where she had spent hours half-heartedly explaining what had happened in there. She had left out the details of her working with the Joker and being there to check if he was okay. She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she finally turned the key to her apartment. She was a little disappointed to find it locked. She didn't turn on the lights as she stepped inside. Tears had started building up again. It was all so... messed up. She thought of how she had let herself fall completely for his tricks and she hated herself for it. He had just used her for a place to stay, she thought as she slid down her hallway wall. Suddenly she heard something. Footsteps coming from her kitchen. The Joker appeared with a smile on his face. "Finally! What took you so long?" He said and held his arms out to the sides. She looked at him "You came back." She said, her voice low and rasp. A smile formed on her lips as she slowly stood up and leaned into his offered hug.  
"What were you doing at the jewellery store Harley?" He asked in a serious tone. "I just wanted to help" She whispered, shaking a little. "Are you mad at me?" She asked concerned. "I was." He said. "But luckily you didn't screw up my plans too bad, and you did help me out of there." He pushed her chin upwards and looked her into her eyes, smiling at her. She smiled back, happy to have been to some help to her sweet Joker.


	4. WeekEND

Harleen looked herself in the mirror. She had dark smudges under her eyes, her hair was a mess and her cheeks pale. She hadn't had much sleep this night. The images of last night kept flashing in her head. _help me,_ the man's voice echoing in her mind. She had so many questions she wanted to asked the Joker, but she wasn't sure how.  
She decided to wear heavy eyeliner to conceal the signs of sleep deprivation. She still looked a mess, she thought. Maybe pigtails would lighten the mood? She began to brush her hair. She had almost finished when it knocked on the bathroom door. Guess he's finally up, she mouthed to the mirror. She hadn't wanted to wake him. He had looked so sweet and innocent.  
"Harley, are you done soon?"  
She gave herself a last look in the mirror and opened the door. The Joker was looking at her with tired eyes. His hair was a little out of place and his lips a little paler than she had gotten used to. He flashed her half a smile.  
"Good morning." She tried, forcefully cheerful. "Good- Have you done something with your hair?" He asked surprised. "I like it." He indifferently added. Harleen felt a wide smile form on her lips. She hadn't really done it for him, but he liked it. She made a note to herself to wear her hair like it more often... well, maybe not at work.  
"Thanks!" She said, this time actually a little cheerful. "I'm done now, so you can just do... Uhm whatever you do. I'll make breakfast, yeah?" She asked as she passed him. "Yeah, whatever." He said as he closed the bathroom door.  
Harleen decided that pancakes was a perfectly fine breakfast on its own and began warming some on a frying pan. From time to time, when she was waiting to flip the pancakes, she set the table with things like syrup and sugar. She was almost done when the Joker entered the room. His hair had been combed, not a single strain out of place and his face somehow looked fresher, his lips bright red. She caught herself staring at him with a blissful smile and quickly returned her attention to the pancakes. She couldn't get lost in him right now, she still had to figure out how to get him to talk about yesterday's events.  
The Joker went to the table and sat down. He took a deep, slightly comically and overdramatic breath through his nose. "Mmmm, pancakes!" He said with delight. She smiled to herself, not looking at him, as she flipped the last pancake. "Do you drink coffee?" she asked, turning to him. She figured she wouldn't deny him a morning coffee if he usually had one. Most people who drank coffee in the morning were grumpy if they didn't get their cup. She didn't remember him having any the other days, but you never knew until you asked, she figured. "Coffee, me? Blech! Nooo thank you!" He said, sticking his tongue out. She giggled a little at his expression. He had a way of caring himself that was just... wonderful.  
She brought the warm pancakes over and sat down opposite of him. She watched him as he forked some pancakes onto his plate and started eating. She took one herself and poured a little sugar onto it, then waited a little.  
"Joker..." She started, looking him in the eyes "Uhm... about yesterday. What happened exactly? Why was it so important?" She asked. She wanted to ask so much more, but this was probably a good place to start. She somehow had a harder time asking about these things outside of Arkham, maybe because she didn't have the same amount of time to think about it, maybe because there wasn't an expectation of her to ask these sort of questions here... Maybe because she wanted him to like her. The Joker raised an eyebrow and looked slightly impressed at her. "I had a deal with Vinnie and the gang. You see..." He stopped and stood up. "That reminds me!" He said and stormed out of the kitchen. Harleen followed him with her eyes, unsure what had just happened. Should she follow him? She decided to wait for him to come back. She heard him search through the living room. After a while he came back, with him was the black bag from the jewellery store. He placed it on the table amongst the plates and glasses and opened it up. Harleen could see something green inside. Was that money? The Joker realised that she was looking and stepped in front of her line of sight and said: "Ah ah aaah, Noooo peeking!" She held a hand in front of her eyes to show him she wasn't going to look, her eyes closed as well. "Ah, there it is!" He said with a smile. "Open your eyes, Harl'."  
She did as he said. The Joker stood right in front of her, rather close, with both his hands on his back. "Pick a hand." He said teasingly. She thought for while. She didn't know if this was a smart idea. If it was the right thing to do... to engage. "Left." She said and smiled. "Because right is boring." She added, speaking mostly to herself. "Hah!" He laughed at her pun, and showed his left hand. Empty. He placed it behind him again. She smiled at him. "Are you gonna make me pick the other now?" She asked, her tone light and sweet. She had to admit, she was a little curious as to what he had gotten. "Left or right." The Joker sneered impatiently. "Left." She repeated with a grin. "Never mind!" He shouted, turned around and left the kitchen. She decided to follow him "What's wrong?" She asked, unsure if she had done something wrong. "Nothing." He said angrily. She looked at him and couldn't help but smile a little. "... You changed hands, didn't you? I used play this game all the time, when I was younger..." she trailed off, her voice getting lower and lower with every word as she realised what she was doing. The last word was only a slight whisper. The Joker just looked at her. Not a smile in sight. His eyes burned through her. She felt herself growing smaller under his glare. Maybe she should leave him alone? She didn't want to. She took a deep breath.  
"I'm sorry if I ruined your game... I didn't mean to." She said softly. "I just wanted to give you that." The Joker said angrily and pointed to a pearl necklace that lay on the coffee table. She looked at it, then at the Joker, then at it and then back at the Joker. "F-for me?" She felt a tight knot in her stomach. No one had ever given her anything except for Christmas or birthdays. "I'm sorry." She said again, she wasn't sure what to do. She truly felt sorry that she had ruined the game. The Joker stood up and walked over to her. He just stood in front of her, as if he didn't know what to do. He frowned angrily, then raised his hand as to strike her. His hand hung in the air for a couple of seconds, then he slowly placed it on her head and ruffled her hair. "Let's eat." He said tired. Harleen's heart was raising in her chest. She hadn't been afraid... not really, but she was relieved he didn't hit her. "S-sure." She said and walked to the kitchen. The Joker removed the black bag from the table and sat down. Harleen sat down at her spot quietly. she slowly took a bite. That could have gone better. She stared down at her plate. "Well, I guess it's time to go soon." The Joker said. He still didn't sound happy. "G-go?" she asked looking up at him. "Why?" She felt strange, uneasy. She didn't want him to go anywhere. "I have done what I came to do." He said, not looking at her. "Where are you going?" she asked, still not sure what he was talking about. "Home, of course." He said annoyed. Home? she thought for a while "A-Arkham?" She asked surprised. She had heard him refer to it as such before, but she wasn't sure. She couldn't imagine anyone wanting to go to Arkham. "Why, yes. We have a session scheduled for next... Wednesday?" He said and looked at Harley, this time with a milder expression on his face. She smiled at him "Yes, but... It would probably be moved. If you came back today you'd have a session with..." his name escaped her. She was painfully bad at names. "And then they'd call me in right after. Arkham wants to get the details of inmates' time on the run, when they're fresh... They tend to forget things while on medication." She said, her voice grim and dark. She really hated the way things where run at Arkham. She hated the place. But she liked working with the inmates- especially since she was allowed to work with the Joker.  
"Well then, no rush. Unless you are talking about good old Bartholomew himself? I sure do love messin' with his head." He said and smiled to himself. "You mess with a lot of people." She stated. No one lasted long as his doctor. "People have already started asking if you've broken me yet." She said and stared at him. "They think I can't handle you." She said a little insecure. "Aaaw, isn't that sweet?" He said, a slightly evil look in his eyes. "I don't want to break you. I like you, you know that. You are one of the only doctors that actually listens to me, cares." She smiled and leaned towards him "I do care about you... a lot, actually." Her smile then faded a little. "How are you getting to Arkham? You're not going to go out and hurt yourself, are you?" She asked worried. "I figured you could give me a ride." He said and winked. He reached for the black bag. "I can even pay for the gas!" As he said it, he opened the bag and emptied it on the table, laughing. Money. Lots of money! She shook her head "That's okay, I'll pay... That money is stolen." she added. As his doctor she couldn't encourage him to spend it. He gave her a condescending look. "So? It's not like anyone else has anything better to use it for. Especially not the people from the store." He said and laughed grimly. Harley looked away and nervously played with one of her pigtails, the man from the store reappearing in her mind. "About that..." she started, not sure how to finish the sentence. "Besides," The Joker continued." It's not like I can get any other income. Arkham isn't exactly a paying gig. And who would want to hire a guy like me? The way I've been made out to look, I'd be surprised if I ever got a chance at anything else, than what I do. It's the media's fault really." He said with a frown. She smiled at him slightly "You look good." She said, not really thinking about it. "But.. We need to talk." She tried, she didn't really want to, but she felt like she needed to. "About yesterday." "What about it?" He asked. "I need to know what happened. I mean... I saw what happened. But why? I need to know why he had to die..." she said avoiding eye-contact. She didn't want to appear weak in front of him, but she was. "Who?" He said slightly confused, but no really caring. She bid her lip "The man who wanted me to help him... and well the others too" She added. She hadn't thought much of them. They hadn't scared her as much, now that she thought about it, they hadn't scared her at all and that frightened her a little. "I don't get it? they didn't _have_ to die, per se, but none of them mattered." The Joker explained. "They're just... How do I explain this? They are shadows! Mindless, boring, useless shadows that walk through life not doing anything important, only making life miserable for people like us! As soon as you try to make a difference, try to speak up, someone stomps you down! They aren't good for anything other than a few laughs, at most."His face darkened as he spoke. "Turn on the TV, heck, look out your window! No one has any colour in their life, they are all grey and boring! They go their entire monotone life, not doing anything that matters, anything important, and when they die, it's as if they never existed. I, on the other hand, try to give them an experience they will never forget! Shake them out of their non-existing existence! I entertain them, make them realise that they are alive for the first time in their life! It only takes one encounter with me, and you get more substance in your life that you've had up until that point." He moved closer and closer to Harleen as he spoke, until he was right in front of her. She looked at him intensely. Was it wrong that she got it? She knew just what he meant. She had even felt the same, it...was like her life made so little sense and that nothing mattered. It had been so refreshing meeting the Joker... to laugh again. She slowly nodded still staring at him. "I... understand." she said blankly. "I knew you would." He smiled, then leaned in and kissed her. "People that doesn't matter will always try to push you down or take advantage of you. You know you don't have to let them, right? All the rules you think you have to follow was made up by people who don't want you to be happy. If you want to live, you have to do what you want, and not let _anyone_ tell you what to do. So what if you upset some people. They don't feel anything, really. They don't even know they are alive until you upset them. " She pondered for a moment. Everything he said made so much sense to her. Life would be so much easier if she could live that way... But she wasn't sure she could. She had always been a people-pleaser. She looked at him and smiled deeply. "Ya' such a smart man, Mr. J!"  
" 'Tis true, my dear!" He said and nodded. "But Let's leave it at that, for now. We do have a session coming up in a couple of days, and it feels like you have a lot of things on your mind." The Joker took Harley's hand, dragged her to the living room and sat her, then himself down on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped through channels and settled on cartoons. She crawled onto his lap and kissed his cheek. She liked the way he lived his life. Everything was so much simpler, there weren't so many worries and everything seemed more fun. She dreaded having to go back to Arkham and be normal again. She buried her face in the Joker's lap and listened to the cartoons. The cartoons and the soothing laughter of the Joker.


End file.
